Autobiography

Today I printed off my autobiography draft!!! My life condensed into 15 pages. The required content touched on my upbringing, my parents' marriage, our courtship and marriage, how we came to decide on adoption, disciplinary thoughts, etc. So many milestones are left out but it's intended to give the agency a glimpse into our lives so that our second interview does not have to answer all those questions in person. The autobiography has been the most difficult and time consuming part of the process and once Bradley finishes his, we will submit the full packet of paperwork we've been working on for months. Our first required class begins on November 7th. We'll be meeting with other adopting parents and have guest speakers including families who have already adopted through the agency. There are about 5 of these classes, each 3 hours in length spread out over approximately one month's time.

My sister highly recommends that Bradley and I attend a parenting class taught by Ken West who she has taken classes from in her master's program. I think we will look into that and if anyone else has some suggestions for helpful classes for first time parents, please feel free to comment on here and throw us some suggestions.

Everyone have a safe and happy Halloween tomorrow!
-Erica

Just for the chance to be considered...

Of course going into this, we knew there would be a lot of paperwork. Gathering and signing documents. Writing our autobiographies. Submitting background checks and re-writing the same information about yourself on what feels like one hundred different forms. There is a lot of work to be done still. Even just today I spent about 4-5 solid hours just filling out forms, locating proofs of various insurance, sifting through bank statements and averaging our net income vs our net expenses vs our net worth! When I thought I must have gotten every last bit of information I could possibly be asked for, something else came up that I had to find amid all our purged or not yet filed piles of papers. Occasionally I'd take a form to Bradley to review and sign and sneak in a hug to boost me for the next hour. I have to say, as much time as it's taken to just do a portion of one of the first steps in the process, this is some of what I've gotten out of it:
1) I was very productive today. I managed to make breakfast and serve it to B in bed for a nice anniversary treat, got laundry done, did dishes and had a little singing time, cleaned up the kitchen, took care of the cats and jumped on-line here and there. All this was done before I ever started the paperwork because I wanted to have no distractions tugging on my mind. So way to get moving and on it, Me!
2) It occurred to me about 3 hours into the paperwork that as much as I sighed and huffed each time I marched down the stairs only to realize I needed to march right back up for something else, I was collecting this for the chance to be considered by a mother out there to raise her child. Each of these redundant forms is going to help the agency and a mother feel confident that Bradley and I meet the most basic qualifications to be parents. The paperwork alone won't give a clue about if we will be "good" parents but it will help the agency to know that we have no major holdbacks and that like anybody wanting to adopt, we too deserve a chance to be considered, so bring on the paperwork if this is what it takes!
3) If you've read my first or second blog you may remember that I have always been very fascinated with pregnancy and all the things that a woman goes through as she cradles a baby in her womb. Knowing I am not likely to have that, I can re-direct my energy to working towards this child by way of doing... all the paperwork it entails. It may not be as fun in some peoples' eyes, but I'm going to try to convince you otherwise! Each stroke of my pen and each clickity clackity on the keyboard is my time spent preparing for this child outside of my body rather than my preparing a child in me. And once the forms are all signed and dated, the autobiographies completed and the scrapbook of our lives closed, I will spend my time praying for the mother who will host our child and that she will be healthy. I will pray for her as she comes to terms with her decision to give her child up for adoption and as she seeks out the right home for her child. And I will pray for the child who could even already be born at this time. IN fact, (brace yourself) the child to join us some day could be delivered as I type this very sentence and the mother could be thinking about the future parents of her child! Wow! How's that for deep?! While the connection to our future child is unknown still, this paperwork, crazy and a bit of a stretch as it seems, is our proverbial pregnancy...

So I send this out into the great wide world; good night sweet mother and child or future child. May your time together be blessed with safety and health and know that we will love you/your child with all that we have in us.

Nursing an adopted baby...

Did you know that a woman can breast feed a child she did not give birth to. Ever heard of a wet nurse? For most of my life I thought it was peculiar that there was such a thing as a wet nurse. I assumed that the way it worked was that a royal woman (too busy or uncomfortable with the idea) or one who could not produce milk would seek out a woman who was with child or currently nursing and ask her to nurse in the mother's place. I presumed this would go on for as long as requested and then the nursing mother would finally be able to return to her own child whom she had been neglecting all the while. I never questioned my assumptions and it wasn't until a few years ago that I spoke with a friend who has adopted an infant and shared her story with me. When she mentioned she had nursed the child I was confused. It turns out that milk production is not directly related to pregnancy, although pregnancy of course stimulates milk production. There are different ways to stimulate milk production and you can research that on your own or talk to me privately.
But isn't that neat?!
Being a huge advocate for breast feeding babies, I was thrilled to learn this and it took no time before I was reading up on it and had decided that I would want to try that if ever I adopted an infant. Though some find it controversial, I have trouble understanding why. Nursing a child is perfectly natural and there is so much history and research to back the benefits of it (oral motor strengthening, bonding between mother and child, immune system boosts, nourishment at it's purest level, saving money and time, and more). A woman's body is beautifully designed to carry and nurture a child both during and after pregnancy and when a woman and child can nurse effectively, I encourage it.
Thank you, dear friend (I hope you know who you are)for sharing your story with me so that I may some day try to nourish my child in this precious way.