Home Study- Complete!

Home Study- COMPLETED!

Technically, as of February 10th at around 5pm, our Home Study was completed, ending with our home visit! The home study will officially be complete sometime this week (likely on Valentine’s Day) when it is approved and submitted before the deadline (Valentine’s Day). Phew… just under the wire. We are now at the bottom of the list (12th) for potential adoptive parents being represented through CCC in the Roanoke area.

Our home visit consisted of giving our social worker a tour of our house and property. While we don’t necessarily have everything set up to bring a child into our home next week, we were advised to set up the house as though we were meeting Foster Parent requirements. The regulations are quite strict and we may have gotten in just in time as the requirements are expected to become even more intensive this May! We need to have certain things locked up (cleaners, medicines, etc.) and meet safety regs within the home. Technically, we will be Foster Parents for a period of time until all parental rights are relinquished to us, even if the mother chooses us to be adoptive parents. As it was explained to us, that could be within 10 days of the birth of the child or it could be several months, if the paternal rights have not legally been terminated (due to delay in notifying him or exhausting all means of finding him without success). Either way, once a child is placed with us we are told to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for the possibility of the child returning to his or her parents until final placement is given.

Because we opted for an “at-risk placement” (having temporary custody of a child before both parents have terminated their rights) we are also accepting that the child could be placed with us immediately upon leaving the hospital. We really wanted that in order to begin the bonding right away and to potentially begin breast feeding. Our social worker told us that more and more mothers are wanting their child to go home with the adoptive family right away, even sometimes allowing them to stay in the hospital until the baby is released, so they can visit with, feed, even sleep in the same room as the baby. That would be ideal. That is what we hope to happen.

All that is left for us to do before our names go on the prospective parents list for mothers to review, is to finish our profile book which is essentially a photo album and at a glance summary of our lives. Once we do that, we have only to wait for calls from our social worker.

So that everyone who reads this is aware, the waiting period will be a time we keep fairly private. Similar, I suppose, to the choice a couple makes to not share that they are expecting until the 3rd month of pregnancy, we too, will not be announcing every call from our social worker that indicates a mother would like to review our profile. As our social worker warned us, there may be several or many calls in the next few years but we must keep in mind that just because a mother reviews our profile, or even narrows us down to a couple families, or even decides to choose us for placement, things can change. Telling everyone, every time there is a potential child to place with us, would likely be too difficult for us to have to explain every time plans change. We will rely on our closest supports for prayers and comfort through those difficult times. It is our choice to reserve the right to keep our hopes to ourselves and appreciate everyone’s understandings if/when we choose not to talk about each potential placement. When there is good news, that we are confident about, we will share it in due time and welcome prayers and celebration then. We may answer simply with “We’re still waiting,” which will not be untrue. Please do not take offense but know that is just a way for us to deal with the roller coaster in our own way, without bringing everyone else along for the emotional ride.

So our last project before we start getting these inquiring calls, is to put this photo album together to show mothers who we are in about 40 or fewer photos! Whew… it’s hard to express to a stranger who may never meet you, what your beliefs, family life, interests, personalities and life goals are in as few words as possible. We have to find photos that are unique and creative and interesting because a mother’s and father’s glances may be our only chance to introduce ourselves. We don’t have any professional photos other than what were taken at our wedding, so we may look into getting some taken… something unusual and creative. There is one local photographer we are considering. But now I am just rambling.

At last, we have reached the end of the paperwork (at least until the legal matters come into play). So within a few years… could be as long as 3 years… we hope to have wonderful news to share with you all. In the meantime, we appreciate your prayers for strength as we receive calls, interviews, hopes and heartbreaks while we wait, and prayers for the mothers out there who are dealing with the very difficult and loving decision to place their child into the care of someone else.